Understanding Dementia:
A Practical Guide for Families

More than memory loss

Dementia may affect memory, thinking speed, language, understanding, judgement, mood, movement and the ability to manage everyday activities. Memory loss is common, but it is not the whole picture.

Dementia and ageing

Dementia becomes more common with age, but it is not an inevitable or normal part of getting older. Persistent changes that interfere with everyday life deserve medical attention.

Other causes can look similar

Memory and thinking problems can also be linked to depression, infections, thyroid problems, medicines, sleep difficulties, vitamin deficiencies and other conditions. A professional assessment is important rather than assuming the cause.

Alzheimer’s disease

The most common cause of dementia. Early difficulties often involve learning and remembering new information, although language, orientation and other abilities may also be affected.

Vascular dementia

Caused by reduced blood flow to the brain. Difficulties with planning, concentration and thinking speed may be prominent. Changes can occur gradually or after a stroke.

Other forms

• Dementia with Lewy bodies: may include fluctuating alertness, movement changes, sleep disturbance and visual hallucinations.
• Frontotemporal dementia: may initially affect behaviour, personality or language.
• Mixed dementia: more than one type of disease is present.

Identity continues

Use familiar names, objects, photographs, music, food and routines to support connection. Avoid speaking over the person or assuming they cannot contribute.

Support abilities

Break activities into manageable steps, offer discreet help and allow extra time. Doing everything for someone can unintentionally remove independence and purpose.

Make communication easier

• Get the person’s attention, use their name and reduce distractions.
• Speak clearly and naturally using short sentences.
• Ask one question at a time and allow plenty of time to respond.
• Offer simple choices, such as “tea or coffee?”, rather than too many options.
• Use gestures, objects or photographs when helpful.

Listen for meaning and feeling

If words are difficult, notice tone, expression and body language. Avoid repeated testing, rushing or unnecessary correction. A person may not remember the details of a conversation but can retain the feeling it created.

Look beneath the behaviour

Possible causes include pain, illness, hunger, thirst, needing the toilet, tiredness, medication effects, fear, boredom, loneliness, noise, temperature or an unfamiliar environment.

Notice patterns

Record what happened before, what the person did and what helped afterwards. Patterns can make triggers and unmet needs easier to recognise and explain to professionals.

Respond safely

Stay calm, lower your voice, give space and reduce stimulation. Do not argue or mirror anger. Seek medical advice for sudden or significant changes, possible pain, infection, medication concerns or risk of harm.

Clear and familiar surroundings

• Keep routes clear and secure loose rugs or trailing cables.
• Use good, even lighting and reduce glare or confusing shadows.
• Make doors, signs and important objects easy to identify.
• Keep frequently used items in consistent places.

Food, drink and wellbeing

Offer drinks regularly, use familiar cups and make options visible. Never force food or drink. Changes in swallowing, repeated coughing, weight loss or dehydration concerns should be discussed with an appropriate professional.

Purpose and movement

Support safe movement and meaningful activities matched to the person’s interests and abilities. Familiar household tasks, music, walking, gardening, crafts or sorting objects can offer purpose and enjoyment.

Starting with the GP

A GP may ask about symptoms, health, medicines and everyday activities, and may arrange physical checks, blood tests, cognitive assessments or referral to a specialist service. Taking someone who knows the person well can help if the person agrees.

Treatment and support

There is currently no cure for dementia, but some medicines may help symptoms in particular types of dementia. Non-drug approaches, health reviews, activity and practical support are also important.

Plan while choices can be shared

Discuss wishes, care preferences, finances and legal arrangements early and sensitively. Mental capacity is decision-specific and should never be dismissed simply because somebody has dementia. Legal and funding rules vary across the UK, so obtain advice relevant to where the person lives.

Notice your warning signs

Persistent exhaustion, irritability, low mood, poor sleep, withdrawing from others or feeling unable to cope are signs that you may need more support. Speak to your GP if your health or mood is being affected.

Share the load

Ask for specific help: a regular visit, a meal, transport, paperwork, a phone call or time away. Consider carers’ assessments, local services, support groups and specialist dementia organisations.

Release impossible standards

You will not handle every moment perfectly. Pause when it is safe, reflect without blaming yourself and try a different approach next time. Asking for help is responsible.